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We have a new cat now.
She streaks through the house
and sleeps in your old beds,
watching me from the rocking chair
as I habitually seek you out.

She's sweeter than you--
she sits in my lap
and plays with my fingers,
doll-faced and docile
against your angular independence.

I still search for you
amongst the cracks in my heart
as you slip like sand
deeper into the dark recesses
of my faulty memories.

I am always afraid
that my tears will ruin the circuitry
through which I access
our sunny afternoons and quiet nights,
and you will slip beyond me.

I did not hope for an afterlife
until I ran my fingers through your cold fur,
and understood why people find solace
in broken hymnals and new beginnings;
I miss my pessimism.
EDIT: jfkdljaflkjlfdskljfldfkfdasljfdjlkfd, thank you very much for the DD!! fjlsfjkds jfkldsjfkldsjfkds

EDIT II: Some pictures of my babies

Adeline by Seilf 
Claire.elizabeth by Seilf 
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Daily Deviation

Given 2013-12-27
Full Glass by ~Seilf Suggester Writes: Uncomplicated, unsentimental, beautiful description of love, loss, and moving on in spite of one's self. ( Suggested by riparii and Featured by BeccaJS )
:iconkaikaku:
kaikaku Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
This is a poem on DA I often come back to. Thank you for sharing it, it's really beautiful and moving. I'm sorry for the loss of your cat.
Reply
:iconseilf:
Seilf Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you <3
Reply
:iconstargirl2791:
stargirl2791 Featured By Owner Apr 15, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
so wonderfully complete! :heart:
Reply
:iconhopeburnsblue:
hopeburnsblue Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2014  Professional Writer
Oh wow, I really, really love this. I think it's relatable whether we're talking about new cats versus old, new lovers versus old, new homes versus old ... you did an amazing job depicting those feelings.
Reply
:iconseilf:
Seilf Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much! I'm glad it's applicable to you. (:
Reply
:iconsnowysylva:
snowysylva Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
This is so touching. My favorite stanza is: 
I still search for you 
amongst the cracks in my heart
as you slip like sand
deeper into the dark recesses
of my faulty memories.


Reply
:iconadahplatha:
adahplatha Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2014
Oh goodness, this is pretty!
 I'm sorry about your loss (of pessimism & cat).
I love this poem by  Gavin Ewart, which I came across in the norton anthology of short poems.
I think the title is a 14 year old convalescent cat in winter.

I want him to have another living summer 

to lie in the sun and enjoy the douceur de vivre - 
because the sun, like golden rum in a rummer, 
is what makes an idle cat un tout petit peu ivre - 

I want him to lie stretched out, contented, 
revelling in the heat, his fur all dry and warm, 
an Old Age Pensioner, retired, resented 
by no one, and happinesses in a beelike swarm 

to settle on him, postponed for another season 
that last fated hateful journey to the vet 
from which there is no return (and age the reason), 
which must soon come - as I cannot forget. 

Reply
:iconseilf:
Seilf Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you for sharing this-- I absolutely adore cat poetry (if that hadn't been clear already P:).
Reply
:iconsilverinkblot:
SilverInkblot Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Hi there! Just a note to let you know that I've featured this piece in my end-of-the-year journal feature :)
Reply
:iconpomohippie7:
pomohippie7 Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2013   Writer
Your wonderful work has been showcased here: fav.me/d707vjx
Reply
:iconseilf:
Seilf Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much! (:
Reply
:iconpomohippie7:
pomohippie7 Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2014   Writer
You're very welcome. :)
Reply
:iconkreepingspawn:
KreepingSpawn Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
:cling: 

Tearjerker! :happycry:
DD well deserved.  ;)
Reply
:iconsadisticicecream:
SadisticIceCream Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2013   Writer
Wow, this is beautiful. Congrats on your well-deserved DD. :)
Reply
:iconawakebutasleep:
awakebutasleep Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
This is very moving and beautiful Clap 
Reply
:iconluted:
Luted Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
The most powerful and touching thing I've ever ever read.
Reply
:iconathalour:
Athalour Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2013   General Artist
Rarely have I read something so perfect. :heart:
Reply
:iconcatsaregreat:
CATSAREGREAT Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
I understand completely... 
Reply
:iconsinnibelle:
Sinnibelle Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
My cat Dero passed when I was in school.. It was - next to the passing of my grandfather- the most hard death on me.. since I am not as attached to people as I am animals he was more of a child to me than any pet and I loved him.. it was hard to lose him.. but there are more cats to love.. but Dero is always in my heart.
Reply
:iconsciencevsart:
sciencevsart Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Never had a cat, and considering the emotional investment necessary for one, never will.

:iconmingcryplz:
Reply
:iconalapip:
alapip Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
DD!  a very appropriate recognition... :nod:  pip
Reply
:iconkarinta:
Karinta Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2013  Student General Artist
Aw I am totally feeling you. I had this happen to me once...
Reply
:icontr33atm0s:
Tr33Atm0s Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
cats = <3
Reply
:iconwatching-the-sunset:
Watching-The-Sunset Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2013  Student Digital Artist
I never really want to think about losing my Charlie
She's listened to me ramble-and she never tells anyone my secerets cx- I'd honestly rather be hit by a car than have to witness her death..

But this is beautiful, I love it, *faves*
Reply
:iconghost-of-a-chance-13:
That cracking noise you just heard was the breaking of my heart. :( This is so beautiful, and I love how you portrayed the emotions without getting too deep in them...It portrays the grieving process very well. We lost my survivor-kitty Baxter far too recently, and despite how long it's been, the pain is still so sharp. Baxter and I saved each other--I saved him from an abusive owner who tried to kill him, and from the constant fear that he lived with for almost a year afterward, and he saved me from my fear of storms, and the scars on my heart from the tornado that took my home with it. He's gone now, and his Sissy has a kitten to play with, but Bax is never far from my heart, especially what with the holidays. There are still days that I'm reminded of him, and the cracks in my heart ache all anew. Congrats on the Daily Deviation...you earned it. 
Reply
:iconsegura2112:
segura2112 Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2013  Student Digital Artist
That is beautiful. Thank You and congrats on the DD.
Reply
:iconhearturchin:
HeartUrchin Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I cant bear to think how hard it'll be when I have to say good bye, to my Popadom - It'll break e - very very beautiful and a well deserved DD.
Reply
:iconten-os:
TEN-OS Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
this is absolutely beautiful, it definitely hits my heart ♥
Reply
:iconphasingirl:
phasingirl Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2013  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
I very recently lost my kitty of twelve years so this hits very close to home. Beautiful, beautiful piece.
Reply
:icongummyrabbit:
gummyrabbit Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2013  Student Writer
The fourth and fifth stanzas are incredibly powerful.  This is a simple and beautiful poem.
Reply
:iconwinchestergirl4657:
Winchestergirl4657 Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
This is amazing. I have felt similar feelings, and I think that is expresses them perfectly. Congrands on the DD. Keep up the good work. :)
Reply
:iconlintu47:
lintu47 Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Congrats on the DD! :dalove:
Have a nice day and Happy Holidays! :santa:
Reply
:iconsootandcinders:
sootandcinders Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2013  Student Writer
I love the simple beauty of this. :heart:
Reply
:iconsepiawren:
SepiaWren Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2013  Student Digital Artist
Original and beautiful take on something both small and huge. Thank you =)
Reply
:iconmisslunarose:
MissLunaRose Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2013   General Artist
I am amazed by how well you capture emotions in this piece. Astounding work! :clap: Congratulations on the much deserved DD.
Reply
:iconrontufox:
rontufox Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2013
Beautiful.  Incredible.
Reply
:iconriparii:
riparii Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2013
So happy to see this here. As *leyghan said, really one of the best ever.
Reply
:iconwotansvogel:
Wotansvogel Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2013   General Artist
I think my eyes are leaking..
Reply
:iconrobson666:
robson666 Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2013  Hobbyist
congratulations to the well deserved Daily Deviation Clap
Reply
:iconlavendragon:
Lavendragon Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2013
It is so simple and so beautiful! I love this
Reply
:iconshadowedacolyte:
ShadowedAcolyte Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2013
The last paragraph is an achingly elegant description of loss in a modern world. Thanks so much for sharing.
Reply
:iconhogret:
hogret Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2013
Oh my.  This is utterly beautiful without being in the least sentimental.  Bravo!
Reply
:iconpenfury:
Penfury Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2013
I've been there.  This expresses my feelings exquisitely.  Thank you for sharing.
Reply
:iconleyghan:
leyghan Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
One of the best odes to a beloved pet that I have ever read.
Reply
:iconseilf:
Seilf Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you /very/ much. Hug 
Reply
:iconalapip:
alapip Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
cats: much more independently dependent than dogs. :nod:
Reply
:iconriparii:
riparii Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2013
:heart: Totally.
Reply
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